Quotes uttered during the making of Arcanum These are actual quotes uttered by the people who made Arcanum. They are reproduced here entirely out of context, as they should be. Enjoy! We need an object, that you use it and you cross over the water. -Jason Some people call that a boat. -Tim My room is dark at night. -Jason I'm going to focus on dirt! -Leonard Not all of us can look fine in underwear and no weapon. -Leonard I think everyone has done it with a balloon once. -Tim I have a problem folding an elf and a half-orc together. -Leonard Some things have more parts, like, um, cows. -Jesse I already whacked it. Do you want some? -Jesse The problem is, man, where do you get dirt? -Leonard Aren't oysters aphrodisiacs? -Tim to Mark Well, the cats didn't seem any happier afterwards. -Mark It has a light, but you have to look at it to see it. -Jesse I'll put it somewhere you can grab. -Mark We have entered the realm of complete fuckedness. -Leonard So to answer your question, bunnies are good. -Leonard I already know we need sheep. -Jason Hey! I'm a geek! -Sharon I just broke the combat module today. -Jesse When did you create it? -Tim Today. -Jesse I saw your balls in a catalog. -Tim (to Jesse) The pimps were easy to cut down, but the prostitutes will get you in the end. -Jesse Do you want to smell mine? -Tim I thought the anus monster was cool. -Leonard Get your head out of my hamster's ass. -Mark I like to look at it after I get off. -Jesse It hangs when I look at myself. -Jesse Did they have shrimp? Good, I'll get my cup. -Tim You guys can go die. -Sharon I set it on vibrate whenever I go in a place. Otherwise I hear a beeping, but can never tell it's coming from my butt. -Jesse Spiders are not bugs. -Mark Now this feature is not completely, or even partially, implemented. -Chris If I'm a lady killer, does it matter? -Leonard I think you need another head. -Tim We couldn't keep it up. We couldn't do both of you. -Jesse Sex for UK, violence for Germany. -Jeff Black poles came and hit my car. -Genevieve I am too tired to count farts. -Jesse He's losing liquids at both ends...which you probably didn't want to know. -Tim We had a friend who had a woody and we shot it. -Todd I reserve the right to shit. -Tim By the end of this project, you will know almost nothing. -Jesse Is that new? -Tim Well, it's not old. -Mark There are so many fun things you can do with sheep. -Tim Some wads are sticky. -Mark As long as you can tell someone dumb like me once and they understand, it's ok. -Jason Do you want us to put it in a box and ship it, like Leonard said I did one night in a dream? -Tim I know what they are, but what are they? -Chad Size doesn't matter if you are wearing it. -Tim By all means, spread the happy around. -Mark I'm an artist. I was just clicking on things. -Mike Now I am more erect. -Mike You can play a male guy or a female guy. -Leonard There is a difference between success and failure. -Mark I was so tired last night that I actually went to the grocery store. -Jesse As long as it's broke, I am happy. -Jason Wait, define "whacked". -Tim I like the Hollywood versions of Dick better. -Mark Mark has three and his are bigger than mine. -Jesse It worked perfectly. At least, it didn't error. -Jesse I think I lost my thing in the center. -Mark Mark is quite skilled in the use of his palm. -Jesse That other guy's name is on the tip of my head. And not the big head either. -Jesse Is that Mr. T? -Tim No, it's Lord British. -Jesse Leonard, do you have a human hand? -Sharon I noticed something on the floor in the bathroom. Everytime I stepped in it, it was sticky. - Mark I knew I was in trouble when Jesse went into the ladies room. - Mark Jesse, why do you even open your mouth? - Sharon When someone turns himself on, can he cast a spell on himself? - Leonard Who cares about email, I just want access to Ebay. - Sharon Spank it, is that how you do this? - David Hey, do you know how to read a newspaper? - Mark I'm trying to remember what my name is. - Jesse But of course, the act of smooshing may be painful - Mark Let me verify what my problem is. -Jeff I was so tired last night I couldn't sleep. -Jesse No it's not tough. It's just math proofs. - David Quick question... What is a window? - Jesse My cousin runs a petting zoo in Big Bear. So if you ever want to do anything with a live sheep... -David It has to do with turning people on and off. -David Chickens work. People don't. -Mike Why is there a naked woman out there? -Jesse I'm not sure, but Mike might possibly squeal louder than me. -Jesse Oh, you got "bitted" a bit back, and it was big...*quite* big. -Mark I lost my rats. -Jesse Yeah, just make 'off' behave as if it were 'on'. -Jesse Upon entering Stillwater, two naked men kick a blue rabbit to death. -From the Arcanum QA bug list Everything in Nature is good. -Tim We need more poison. -Jesse Magic Boom-Boom is more complex than Magic La-La-La. -David But sex came out way back when I was in Ames. -Jesse I didn't do anything. I just dropped it. -Yong But look at yours, it isn't that big. -Yong You should go kill those guys more -Jason I will go re-kill them -Mike Do they glow in the dark? Why is he naked? -Jesse My legs keep disappearing, should I tell Chris? -Steve I was whatchamacalliting. -Jesse 27) You are able to ask Willow (the virgin prostitute) to tie you up and make it hurt. This doesn't seem appropriate for Willow as Cassie and Alice will take care of this for you. In fact, Willow refers you to Bunny when you ask her to tie you up and make it hurt, which Bunny isn't into either. -From the Arcanum QA bug list Perhaps you have to squeeze the carrot. -Tim I've been watching a lot of the food channel, since I can't eat. - Jesse You'd be amazed what you can do with monkeys. -Steve I consider the urinal a water ride. -Tim Suddenly there was a stabbing pain in my ass. -Leonard I'm drunk, but I'm not wobbling. -Sharon I was trying to figure out how to keep a werewolf caged in a room, and I think I just figured it out! -David That looks like a rolled-up ding dong. -Mark You know you are hungry when you hesitate to put the bagel down. -Mark It was a *valid* invalid pointer! -Steve I have now used the men's bathroom three times. -Jesse Great, comic books right after colonic irrigation. -Jesse There's something weird about it and it may be my brain. -Mike I will see if I can find a place to stick it. -Jesse Can we go? My butt is cold. -Tiffany I'm greedier than 90% of the population! -Sissie I have never had someone love me that much before. -Sissie I have never seen one that large. -Sissie Let's gang up on them, baby? -Tiffany I threw my life partner away. -Sissie How did you lick me from behind? -Jesse Time only passes naturally. -Steve I don't like looking at people. -Tiffany I seem to have sauced myself. -Scott That's where you say things and it does things for you? -Steve Do you want to smell my grapefruit? -Tiffany Yesterday Dave's grapefruit got me in trouble. -Tiffany Don't take off your clothes & you won't get cold. -Tiffany Its not them coming to kill me that would worry me. -Scott Steve doesn't have a Happy Button. -Mark Yeah, I gave you love. -Jesse to Sissie I'm glad it wasn't me. -Scott Tim put in a bug that made everyone stupid. -Steve You can go there naked if you want. -Tiffany Why do you keep turning me into a man? -Tiffany People keep eating my nuts! -Mike I got $10 to participate. I put my hand in cold water and spat in a jar. -Tiffany I was working hard and got distracted, and I guess I put my finger someplace wrong. -Mark Was it when you realized you couldn't have a small penis? -Tiffany Are you fondling my panda? -Sissie So, did it hit your spot? -Tiffany Come with me Virgil, we must break the game. -Jesse I am proud of poop. -Mark Not the penis thing, the whole holding the pen thing. -Steve We were going to grab you, but Chad was grabbing you for a long time. -Tiffany We were winning even before we started cheating. -Chad I was just wondering what I would look like if I stuck those two grapefruit in my shirt. -Tim I'm not lying, I'm just blaming Jesse. -Steve Would you mind if I accidentally played with you? -Tiffany I have never had the pleasure of having my clothes just fly off. -Sissie Things like that make me really wonder...about thinking. -Steve La la la la, I'm not stalking you. -Tiffany You wetted my area! -Tiffany The cookie jar has slightly tweaked my memory. -Mark You know, every time someone comes into your office, they come in to fondle one thing or another. -Tiffany Do you know what I hate? -Jesse Small woodland creatures? -Steve Because Tim and I are hot! -Steve I did it when you were focused on your bone. -Sissie Technically my finger is not inside my body right now. -Tim I can wiggle that thing all day and its still not gonna stop. -Steve You know what? I've had it! I am sick and tired of seeing these people every time I go into the bathroom. -Sissie She just wants my boobs. -Sharon If I don't find it by the time you leave, I will castrate Chad tomorrow. -Tiffany I thought I popped my brain. -Sissie Why are you pushing on my dog's butt? -Tim Because that's where dogs like it. -Steve He put it on my computer because I expressed interest in having a sheep at work. -Tiffany We can flash each other. -Jesse Dude, are you in Mannox's hole? -Chad I wonder how legal it is to rent monkeys? -Steve Aw, now I gotta do a funny dance to make sure he's off of me! -Steve I don't want to be a noodle! -Sissie I was dumb and I tried doing it. -Sissie The first thing I noticed about the new $5 bill is that Lincoln thinks you're sexy. -Scott What the hell is stuff? -Jesse Hey look! It's Mr. Tongue! -Tim Unfortunately, this does nothing to remove the poop from his system. That's my job. -Tim No, you have to feel the full brunt of his pieces. -Steve Your trickle can make a difference! -Steve If he soils himself, we're sharing that seat. -Steve I don't want to eat anything that can taste me. -Scott That's real commonsensical. -Chad You are a blood whore. -Tiffany Why are you trying to eat that Cheeto seductively? -Sissie Would that explain the strange poking sensation in your behind? -Tiffany You can do me first if you want yours to be hot. -Jesse You gotta get the part that comes out the back. -Steve Don't you just want to nibble on the top of his buns? -Jesse Let me get it up for you. -Leon Oh, I should go find out if someone accidentally left a donut. -Tim Look, there's Sharon. Maybe she knows something. -David Hey, I didn't think I could have so much snot. -Sharon Ah, the science of licking things. -Steve I'm really hoping that there's a lot less programming on the next project. -Steve Hey, I know what's wrong! I am a complete idiot! -Sharon Food needs to be increased. -Steve I don't know why I'm so ugly either. -Jesse Nothing like a kick to the groin to make time go faster! -Steve If I had grapefruit in my shirt, you would've missed it. -Tim Oh my god! She's having too much fun whipping. -Tiffany I can't replace my dongle if I've lost it. -Mike (excitedly) I'd kiss you, if you weren't a man! -Steve It's not working, but it's not broke. -Steve When you throw, Tim does bad things. -Steve If you had a fat horn, maybe I'd take a bite of it. -Chad I can get pores from a mile away if I want to. -Steve Just because I am touching you doesn't mean you can be bad. -Tim We are beating something in the hope that it will make noise. -Steve Hey, I saw your naked man briefly! -Sissie How come yours is so huge?! -Sissie